I had an experience the other day that reminded me of why I do what I do, professionally speaking .   It was an opportunity to share my philosophy with others who work with trauma survivors.  From the difficulties survivors experience to the incredible growth they are capable of.  I left feeling re-energized and more dedicated to the clients I work with.

As I spoke about what drew me to this work and my approach to helping clients heal, I was reminded of the strength, courage, and resilience of childhood trauma survivors.  I am truly amazed at your willingness and ability to heal.

The purpose of this post is to provide hope and give acknowledgment to those whose lives have been impacted by sexual abuse.  Maybe a survivor, or someone who cares about, or is in, a relationship with someone who is a survivor.  However, before I continue with that piece, it is important to have a basis for the reality of how many people are affected by sexual abuse.

Depending on where you find the statistics, 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys are sexually abused before they reach the age of 18.  Think about what that number really means.  I’m sure each of you have at least 3 females, and very likely 5 males in your life.  Which means you likely know at least 2 people who have been sexually abused.  Maybe, one of those people is you.

The impact of childhood sexual abuse can be devastating to a person’s life.  From the very moment the abuse occurres, the child’s reality is forever changed.  The affects can range from low self-esteem to severe depression and suicidal behaviors (with many other affects and symptoms somewhere in the middle).  It impacts intimate relationships and can change the direction of a child’s life.

So, getting back to my increased dedication and feeling of being reenergized…. .  When I left the meeting I found myself thinking about the clients I’ve had over the years who had the strength and courage to risk opening up to a stranger with the hope of “getting better”, even when they may not have had any idea what that even meant.  For some, it was the first time they ever shared anything about their experience.  For others, I was one, in a long list of people they’d shared with.  For many of those, their previous experience of sharing was not particularly helpful.  And yet, here they were, willing to try again.  This, in and of itself, is pretty amazing.

As a therapist, there is nothing more gratifying than to see a client who has struggled with having any sense of who they really are to becoming the person they might have been.  Well….at least not for me.

Thank you to all of you who have/are allowing me to be a part of your healing journey.

Do you ask yourself this question or know someone who does?  There are an estimated 27 million Americans taking anti-depressants (Olfson & Marcus, 2009).  Before I go on, I want to stress that I am not specifically against psychotropic medication.  I believe there are circumstances when they can literally save someone’s life.  What I do have a problem with are industries (insurance and pharmaceutical) and a society that ignore the reality of the struggles that people face.  Struggles that are not resolved by taking a pill, or two, or three……. .

There is a commercial for Abilify (an antipsychotic) that I’m sure most everyone has seen.  They suggest that if you currently take an anti-depressant but still have symptoms, you should talk to your doctor (who is probably not a psychiatrist) about adding Abilify.  And by the way…..here are some of the more common side effects (from the Abilify website):  dizziness, vomiting, anxiety, insomnia and constipation.  Less common but more serious side effects include: an increase in suicidal thoughts, abnormal or uncontrollable movements of the face or tongue, and stroke in elderly patients with dementia, among others.  Well…..if that doesn’t make you feel hopeful about getting better.

According to the study referenced above, while the number of people taking anti-depressants increased substantially, the number of people seeking psychotherapy decreased.  Over a 10 year period it went from 31.5% to less than 20%.  Approximately 80% of those taking anti-depressants are getting the diagnosis and prescription from someone other than a psychiatrist.

With all of the medication available, why are people still struggling with relationships, sadness, anxiety, or anger?  Could it be that there may be something going on (or maybe went on) in your life that has created some of the difficulty you might be having?   I would say that it is very likely.

I have had many clients who have come to me on medication.  Some of them for years, and some on several medications.  Most of them were not referred for psychotherapy.  They just recognized that medication alone was not likely going to resolve their emotional pain or fix their relationships.

There have been numerous studies on the effectiveness of medication, psychotherapy, and the two combined.  The results are somewhat mixed, but most acknowledge that medication alone does not improve overall emotional well being in the long term.

So, if you or someone you know has tried taking medication and still struggle with symptoms, maybe try adding psychotherapy.  Or, here’s an idea, try psychotherapy first.  The side effects are much less troublesome.

I’d like to hear what your thoughts or experiences are.

Take a moment….think about what that means to you.  “From the withered tree….a flower blooms”.  Do you notice a picture in your mind?  Do you feel it resonating somewhere within?  If a picture came to mind, what did you see?  Is the focus more on the withered tree or did the flower get your attention?  If it resonated within, where did you feel it?

If you identify more with the tree, you are not alone.  I’ve had many clients who have spent years of their lives feeling a little like a “withered tree”.  Just trying to survive another day.  Waiting for a reprieve.  Having little hope that anything will ever really change.

But, somewhere within, there is a part that recognizes a little bud trying desperately to push through.  You may not be able to see or feel its existence, but it is there.  It is that part that has kept you going.  It is that part that gets people to go to therapy, even if they’re not really sure it will help.  Especially, if they’ve already tried therapy before.

Through understanding how you see yourself, you can begin the process of identifying the little “bud” within you.  I assure you it’s there.  It’s just been waiting for the safest conditions to bloom.  What type of flower might you be?